Unhinged, and Absolutely Hilarious Letters to Santa

Christmas is always such a fun and heartwarming time for friends and family, but it’s rarely just one singular moment or evening. The holidays often span across multiple days, weeks, and preparations for the main event. From Christmas dinner to opening presents to caroling and more, the festivities have only just begun as November rolls around.  To get your Christmas spirit’s worth some even start decorating and preparing just as Halloween ends. Most children’s introductions to this fun holiday season start with letters to Santa and these letters do not disappoint.

What do we want? A cat! When do we want it? Christmas! And in case Santa doesn’t speak English (or Chinese, or Italian, or Russian…) this little girl made sure to that her Christmas wish as clear as day. Now, even if we set aside the mind-blowing amount of languages that she seems to know, her sheer determination is nothing to sneeze at.

Look out, Santa, because this young boy has no time for silly pleasantries or “Ho Ho Ho”s, indeed, we’ve got a straight shooter on our hands. This little negotiator went straight to business and is not having any of that “batteries sold separately” stuff. We’ll take him straight to the law firm after Christmas. 

Well, it seems that Santa’s in for a real treat with this kid’s holiday wishlist! Picture this: a hoverboard, a snazzy golden watch, and not one, not two, but three fancy golden chains. This kid has some expensive tastes so we sure hope he is on the nice list, otherwise this is quite awkward.

If there’s one thing no one can say about Santa, is that he sucks at his job. Well, unless you’re this kid. Apparently, children don’t take too kindly to their house being skipped on Christmas. We don’t blame them, we would be upset too. This kid certainly had some words for ol’ Saint Nick.

Is there anything more annoying than buying something you really want only to discover that one of its parts is missing? And on Christmas morning no less?! Well, this responsible little kid is taking precautions like the practical kid she is.

Anybody can leave out milk and cookies for Santa, but this kid knows how to really get on Santa’s good side. Not only does he welcome Santa to “grab a beer” while he’s dropping off presents, but he also helpfully provides directions.

Children today really know what they want, like this tech-savvy kid for example, probably the CEO of Santa’s Naughty or Nice Analytics sent the big guy a letter with an Amazon link to the ultimate toy wishlist.

This bold young elf laid down the law for Santa: “A ‘hampster’ for Christmas, or I’m going on a ‘Non-believer’ strike!”

Another ultimatum by a determined youngster who pulled no punches in their letter to Santa: “You better bring me a pony this year. Or there will be consequences.” The message was shared by an anonymous Reddit user and good thing it was anonymous because we don’t think threatening Santa is a good way to end up on the nice list.

In a whimsical letter to Santa, a curious kid dropped a surprise. “P.S. Are you real, Santa? P.P.S. I love Jesus more, though, don’t get mad.” It’s like that dreaded friendzone moment, when your crush tells you she likes you as a friend, maybe because she’s got a thing for your other friend.

In an unexpected holiday wish, a little firecracker of a kid penned a letter to Santa with a unique request: “a new president.” Talk about an ambitious holiday spirit! Santa must be scratching his snowy head, wondering if his workshop has the power to deliver that particular gift.

In an adorable letter to Santa, a little one asked the big man a head-scratcher, “I couldn’t call you ’cause I didn’t know your phone number! What is it?!!?!!” It’s like trying to reach Kris Kringle via the North Pole’s Yellow Pages.

As we read this cute letter, our first thought is that this kid’s just concerned about Santa’s well-being. But nope, it’s not about Santa’s diet or exercise routine. It’s all about the toys! 

In a letter that’s a festive plot twist, this clever kid decided to address their holiday wish to “Gloria and Jesus.” No mincing words here! The request: “I want a Nintendo Switch. Santa does not exist.”

When asked to write a letter to Santa, one creative kid took the instruction quite literally. Instead of listing toys, they penned the entire alphabet – A to Z. Perhaps they thought they’d cover all the bases, from “action figures” to “zeppelins.”

Pint-sized prankster Kristin had a unique strategy for securing her presents. “Dear Santa, I’m sorry for yelling and being mean. Will you still bring me presents? Love, Kristin.” But Kristin wasn’t taking any chances; she bombarded Santa with a flurry of P.S.’s, practically creating a North Pole postscript vortex.

In a whimsical twist on tradition, a young Jewish child sent Santa a charming note:”I’m Jewish but I really like you. Can you give me a present?” Not content with just that, this little chap tacked on a witty P.S., “Please don’t give me coal!”

This kid’s Christmas wish isn’t your standard fare. It’s not just a unicorn they’re after; it’s a rainbow unicorn with a peculiar talent – ice cream-producing rear ends! As if that weren’t whimsical enough, they wrap it up with an exclamation: “P.S. I better get it too!!!”

One kid didn’t hold back on their Christmas wish. They didn’t ask for toys or games but went straight for the stars, quite literally, asking for Leonardo DiCaprio himself. It’s like having a Hollywood heartthrob as the ultimate stocking stuffer! You can’t get any better than that.

In an unexpected plot twist, one fiery youngster didn’t sugarcoat their letter to Santa. “Dear Santa (AKA Mom and Dad), I HATE YOU, and I HATE CHRISTMAS, YOU RUINED IT!” It’s like they discovered the Grinch’s secret for Christmas card-writing.

The letter, hilariously shared by Reddit user Wpac56, opens with a whimsical twist: “Dear: Santa Claws.” But the real comedy gold comes as young Thomas decides to lay out a case against his baby brother. In his misspelled charm, he insists, “I don’t think our baby brother should have presents this year.

In a delightful twist on letter writing, one imaginative kid sent Santa an envelope filled with nothing but wavy lines. It’s like they’ve tapped into a new form of hieroglyphics, communicating in the universal language of squiggles.

In a culinary curveball of a Christmas wish, one little foodie-in-the-making sent Santa an unexpected request for stuffed chicken. Forget toys and gadgets; this kid’s aiming for the gourmet experience.

Ella, at the tender age of 9, sent Santa a burning inquiry: “What happens if you get sick on Christmas Eve?” It’s the kind of question that’s been whispered around the cookie plate for ages. After all, one man single-handedly circles the globe in one night to spread joy; what if he catches a cold?

In an endearing letter to Santa, a kid extended an invitation with a virtual twist: “There are three of my Nintendo games set out for you” It’s like offering the keys to the North Pole arcade, but the chuckles don’t stop there.

In a letter to Santa, a young visionary asked for a quirky combo: “I want an order of French fries, a computer, and a single chicken nugget.” While the computer request is a no-brainer, the others may leave Santa with some questions. Only one nugget?

The letter from this young entrepreneur to Santa was pure comedy gold. In it, he ‘fessed up to his past shenanigans and gave Santa a big shoutout for the Christmas letter. But the real kicker was his wild request for this year.

In a note addressed to the jolly man himself, a youngster expressed a rather fanciful desire: “A shark that goes underwater and grabs me corndogs that are already baked” This out-of-the-box request hints at a beachfront extravaganza with a corndog-retrieving marine sidekick.

We’re not sure what exactly happened last Christmas, but it seems that this you little Elizabeth to extra safety measures with her stuff! In a letter to Santa, young Elizabeth made a simple request: “Hey Santa, can you please not touch my things this year?”

We couldn’t help but chuckle when we read this letter from a Redditor, whose kid asked Santa to come before his alarm went off. At six in the morning. On Christmas. What kind of a jolly morning is that supposed to be?!

It’s nice to know that your kid has a moral compass. Just take a look at this little number, where, in a missive penned for the big guy up North, the little dude put forth an unconventional wish, asking for a GTA5 game.

In this post, we uncovered a treasure trove of holiday humor, we think. According to this kid, the “notty” list seems to have gone on a diet, while the good list has vanished entirely. Is Santa struggling with his lists, or maybe he’s just embracing a carefree, non-judgmental approach to gift-giving? We aren’t sure Santa’s gut can take all this criticism. 

You can only fool a child for so long before they realize they’ve been duped. In this letter, the child not only disses ‘Ol Saint Nick for not existing, but actually goes as far as to say that even if he was, his whole reindeer act would be a total sham.

Josie has Santa’s priorities all figured out. The man in red only cares about two crucial things: have you uttered any naughty words to your folks and given anyone the old one-finger salute?

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me- an AK 47 assault rifle?! This is the moment for all parents to thoroughly check their children’s letter to Santa, because they may hide an unsettling surprise.

There’s nothing quite like a curious child. And what is cuter is the fact that sometimes they don’t let anything stand in the way of their will to know, not only at the price of their precious Christmas present.

Well here’s a child that doesn’t care for any shaking of a belly like a ball full of jelly. “Dear Santa,” she writes, “I Think That You Should Be A Lot More Skinnier So On The Back Side There Is A Picture Of You Being Skinnier.”

We all want to believe that our kids are gonna grow up to be cute, well-mannered little munchkins, but alas, some of them just don’t seem to get the idea of politeness. 

Step aside, Jon Snow, there is a new King in the North- and he comes bearing gifts. We’re not sure if this kid watched one too many episodes of GoT, or if he misunderstood the concept of Santa, but the result remains the same- and it’s absolutely hilarious.

Remember those good old days in kindergarten, when you would come home, take off your shoes, and enjoy your evening with a crisp can of beer? No? good. Kids should stick to chocolate milk and juice, not an IPA brew.

Where do you think Santa gets all his presents from? The elf factory? Somewhere out in the snow? or maybe he just makes a short trip to his nearest Walmart! It may sound funny to you, but this little girl took it all too seriously.